Friday, May 22, 2009

show and tell bunnies: a frightful tale (spoiler alert!)

sometimes we get donations here at the library. usually they are crap that no one would ever want. but i've noticed that here at happy new shiny library, we actually get good donations of books that children would actually want to read! it really is a little slice of heaven here.

anyway, so going through some donations i came across this book. it was in excellent condition and i thought that it looked like a nice little story about the stress that is too often induced by show and tell.

but in fact this book is highly revolting! let me explain it to you ...

so this kid who is actually a bunny is buckling under the pressure of show and tell. it's fierce competition and he needs to bring in something good. but sadly he's got a whole lotta nothing. so he goes into his basement and he finds this weird lopsided silky ball. not interesting in and of itself. then he comes up with the plan to put the ball in a box, so no one can see what it is and then they just have to touch it and try to guess what it is. much like that haloween party game where you pass around a bowl of grapes in the dark and try to convince people they're really eyeballs. ah, genius! you have taken something boring and made it intriguing. very clever indeed.

everyone at show and tell thinks this is just fab. one girl exclaims, "ohh, it feels soft like velvet" (that's what she said). sadly though, by the time lunch rolls around the excitement of the silky ball wears off and now people are talking about some other newfangled show and tell item. ah, fame is a fickle friend.

but wait! all is not lost! when the bunny children return back to class they find something is amiss. when they go in for the big reveal to see what the mysterious object in the box was, it turns out that the silky ball is gone. what?! yes, now it is just a box full of spiders. say what?! yeah, it's a box full of effing spiders. the mysterious silky ball was actually a big old sac of spider eggs.

what happens next? do they recoil in horror? do they all scream like little girls, "ahhh, i touched a ball of spiders!" and run away scarred for life. no. they are thrilled. they're all "ooooh. ahhhhh. spiders." and then the teacher teaches an inspired lesson on spiders and thanks bunny boy for bringing in the best show and tell item ever. the end.

um, last i checked it was NOT COOL to bring a box of spiders to school (or the public library. don't get any ideas) this is more revolting than narcoleptic veterans.


Her Mother said...

That's a ridiculous story, although I am glad that someone is finally addressing the stress issues of Show And Tell

rowan said...

that's terrifying.

*Bitch Cakes* said...

I think *I'm* going to puke now! What a stupid story! (and thanks for making me remember the narcoleptic vet story - man, that was disappointing)