strutting forward and a secret confession

tonight i went to my local coffeeshop to work on my novel, and i met up with a colleague from work who happens to also hang out at the local coffeeshop. he is possibly my only true work friend. anyway we were discussing the state of library affairs, and even with all my legitimate work issues i was beginning to wonder if maybe i just need to “get over it.” because when i was recounting the various injustices which have befallen me, none of them have happened lately (except of course the vacation day debacle, but i won’t even get into that). so i have decided from this moment on that i am letting bygones be bygones. i will be moving on and approaching everything with a fresh new attitude (that new attitude being a positive one) startiiiiiiiing … NOW!

tonight i also went to the garage to discuss why my car is always bottoming out and it was brought to my attention that my “struts are shot.” struts apparently cost about $120 each, which makes me wonder … can i not strut enough for both me and my car?

and finally, i have a secret confession … let me start by saying that mr. katz gave me some words of wisdom regarding this blog. he said that whatever i write i should assume that everyone is reading it, specifically everyone who i wouldn’t want reading it. he of course told me this after stating that he believes i am reckless, both in my blog writing and in my personal life. well, i never. of course, if you look at the facts, he has a pretty good argument. but anyway … moving on … i make this secret confession knowing that those i don’t want to read it most likely are reading it:
i was kind of hoping that after running into the glam rocker the other night that he would be so beholden by my beauty (i looked so good! seriously, liquid eyeliner makes all the difference) and he would realize that ending things with me was a big mistake and he would call me on bended knee and ask me out. and in my head i decided that tuesday would be the deadline for bended knee begging. because that is 5 days and if a boy takes more than 5 days to contact me, he is not worthy of my time. and sadly tuesday has now come and gone with no contact from the glam rocker. i guess he is too busy keeping the rock alive.
and that, dear blog readers, is my life so far.

thank you gods of justice and rock n' roll

on the one hand, the month of march has taught me that everyone reads my blog and i should probably just shut the hell up. but by golly, you just can't keep a good woman down ...

last night i went to see my friend's band, the naked heroes, play at trash bar. they are awesome by the way, everyone should worship them.

anyway ... i wore liquid eyeliner. i looked hot. my bestest friends were there. we danced around. i drank cheap beers.

in walks the glam rocker, and my god did i play it cool. oh hello there glam rocker ... why yes it is lovely to see you as well ... i read this article that may be of interest to you ... take care then, ta ta! seriously, i could not have played that situation any cooler. point 1: me!

most likely nothing will come of this situation, but damned ... it felt nice to have something go right for a change. and at the end of the night i walked myself home through the empty streets of brooklyn, singing songs on my iPod and feeling good.

stress dreams, story times and my desire to sign with primates

this morning i had another story time, today it was with my usual kindergarteners. i think i am getting way better at this because today these kids just ate up everything i did. we read: Mouse Paint, Go Away Big Green Monster (they CHEERED when i brought this book out), I Ain't Gonna Paint No More, Don't Let Pigeon Drive the Bus, Piggies, Wheels on the Bus, and a special jungle version of If You're Happy and You Know it. instead of the usual happy-and-you-know-it things there were animal related ones like roaring if you are happy and you know it. or scratching your fur if you are happy and in fact know it. they LOVED it. it was really fun. so there you have it, i am now an expert story timer. who would have thunk it.
in other news .... i have had several signs from the universe about the glam rocker. now, i haven't seen him in months, but i happen to know that he will most likely be at my friend's show tonight. that's not really a sign. however, two nights ago i had this weird dream of romance past and the glam rocker was there and so was my ex-fiance as well as an ex-not-to-be-named. and in the dream i needed to do something work related and i was going to be late and i was all stressed out over it, and all these Xs were getting in the way. weird.
but that is not all!
then this morning one of the glam rocker's songs came on my iPod. i didn't even know he was on my iPod!
so i believe the universe is trying to tell me something. of course, i have no idea what that something is. maybe it is saying that i need to go through and clean up my iTunes.
i must return to my work of finding sign language websites for kids. you would think there would be many, but alas there are few. i did however find this wedsite with pics of that gorilla who learned sign language. gorillas are so interesting. they look all thoughtful like big hairy people. it really made me want to hang out with gorillas and sign to them. so far i have only learned how to sign the phrase, "hello my name is miss dewey decimal. what's your name?" not all that helpful when communicating with primates.

i am good for more than *one thing* ... i swear

after being sexually harrassed by the child therapist/african american jew and being pre-broken-up-with by the glam rocker, i have been filled with a slight bit of rage. i don't know, i just feel like everybody wants something from me, and they all seem to have some self-righteous feeling that they're entitled to it. i am beginning to think that men just view me as some sort of sexual playground that exists only for their amusement, to be frequented or abandoned at their will. this, dear blog readers, is not a nice feeling.
so when i received the following txt, i was enraged. ENRAGED:
hey how r u doin?
this is lou
me & my friend helped u moved yesterday!
i was just wondering if we could hook up?
wtf?! i hire movers, and they do a shitty job, and then they think i may be available for sex? grrrrrrr.
so i called the head of All Star Movers and reported this to him. he said he would be calling lou immediately and that he would get back to me on this matter. of course, i have yet to hear from him.
but to all you men out there i would just like to reiterate that i am in fact a thinking feeling person and i would appreciate it if even one of you could treat me as such.

p.s. i broke down and called the polyamorist. he will be stopping by to install Stolman.

all svelte up and nowhere to go

the glam rocker is dead to me! you heard it here first. and, beloved blog readers, please remind me never to get involved with someone who has his own "persona." seriously, what was i thinking?
so last night my roommate and i were on the roof smoking cigarettes (i don't even smoke cigarettes!) lamenting the state of romantical affairs, debating about whether or not we need to move to another city in order to be lucky in love. and she said to me that she felt that if only she were thinner, then her problems would be solved. "roommate!" i said, "you are plenty thin. you're a beautiful girl and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!"

and then i told her how i've become so svelte from the non-drinking and how this newfound svelteness has not helped me in ANY way. except of course that now when i am naked in front of the mirror i say things like, "damned! i'm svelte!" and i feel pretty good about myself. but ultimately, isn't it the human condition to want to share this svelteness with others? is that so wrong? is it too much to ask?

i believe i then said that i wanted to waste away and become a beautiful anorexic untouchable thing to be placed high on pedestals and loved from a distance. and then after that i said i wanted to move to some sort of jewish nunnery on a mountain top where i can finally have some peace and quiet. i'm kind of all over the place right now.

i am not as full of myself as you might think ... ok, maybe i am

do you know that a glam rocker had the audacity to tell me that i have "an ego on me?!" the nerve. well, maybe he's right. anyway, just for fun i thought i would throw in the link to some of the other librarians with presidents pics. seriously ladies (i say ladies because the 5 male librarians in the world just wear shirts and ties), i love our profession but must we continue to perpetuate old stereotypes? ok, i am making a rule. i've been thinking about this for some time now. here goes: if you are not on a hiking trip, you should not be wearing fleece. there i said it.
http://www.highsmith.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Production/LSE/pages/alamw_photos_saturday.jsp?storeId=10001&langId=-1&catalogId=10060

is she oppressed? or is she a mess? does she feel totally worthless?

so i was telling a glam rocker about this blog (what? you don't think librarians get to hob knob with glam rockers? get with the program) anyway, this glam rocker wanted to make sure he got the name of my blog correct so he asked, "it's oppressed librarian, right?"
i like that ... oppressed librarian. i am feeling a little oppressed right now. i am a free thinking librarian trapped in a fascist bureaucracy. but i will prevail! i will not be a cog in your machine! shine on you crazy librarian! ok, enough of that.
moving on ... i have applied for jobs at a variety of fabulous shiny new places and i am sure one of them will be thrilled to have me.
this glam rocker also said that there is a way to blog from your phone. well, what will they think of next? i really should be blogging from my phone. here i've just been using my phone for txting, phone calls, and taking stupid pictures like a sucker. but i tried to do this blogging via phone thing and it does not seem to be working. i don't know if it's me or the phone. let's blame the phone.