Sunday, November 23, 2008

a tale of questionable morality

i was in the keyfood buying groceries. i am trying to cook more in these tough economic times. i was on line, and the woman in front of me was still loading up her groceries. she stepped down towards the end of the aisle so that she could start bagging her items and i noticed a neatly folded $20 bill on the ground. at first i thought she must have dropped it. and although i contemplated telling her that she dropped it, i decided to wait. why should i tell her there's $20 on the floor? these are trying times dear blog readers and miss dewey d could use the cash. i contemplated rolling my cart over the bill so no one would see it but i thought that was unfair. if this woman would notice before she left, then the $20 was hers. sounds fair, no?

around this time a man who looked like a floor manager type seemed to be eyeing me. did he know? was he on to me? was this some sort of perverse sociological experiement to see what lengths people would go to for a small amount of extra cash. (i did this once in college, it involved gluing several quarters to my dorm carpet) but i digress.

then i saw the woman take out her wallet. a clue! if she hadn't taken her wallet out yet, how could the $20 be hers? and she was paying with a debit card! more likely, the $20 was dropped a while ago and no one spotted it yet. this could be anyone's $20. and if it could be anyone's, why can't it be mine? convenient rationalization or crtitical thinking? who's to say.

she left and when i took my spot by the cashier i stepped on the $20, covering it from view. then i bent down all sly like i was going to tie my shoe, and i picked that baby up and pocketed it. the perfect crime.

so i paid for my groceries, which were surprisingly expensive, and i made my way towards the door. then the manager gave me a knowing look and told me to "have a nice evening." what did he mean by that?!

but i think i got away with it. unless there is footage of me on some survellience camera, cleverly scheming away while pretending to peruse in touch magazine.


Her Mother said...

Well done, dear daughter- it all sounds Kosher to me!

Jarred said...

I found a five the other day and was rather excited about it...that was until I read you found a 20. Lucky.

Peonys said...

Sounds to me that the manager was amused at your scheming. Your performance was probably worth at least $20 bucks of laughter.

Miss Dewey Decimal said...

you know, i never thought that maybe the store manager would be amused by me. i just assumed he was silently judging me. as always you have a much more positive spin on things, Peonys!

Miss Dewey Decimal said...

so jarred, the day after i found the $20, my car broke down. this cost several hundred dollars to fix. so in the end i would rather have found a $5 and not had my car die on me. not that the two are related. or are they?