Y?

Y finally came in after being gone for several weeks. my assistant took her aside to speak to her, and then after that i wound up speaking to her as well. it wasn't very productive. she said that everything was fine and that the poem didn't mean anything. i said it must have meant something, but she maintained that it meant nothing and that she had written it with her friends just joking around. i said i didn't find the poem particularly funny. she shrugged, and then there was nothing left to say.

so that was that.

fall is here ... read the newsletter

back after much popular demand, we have finished the fall edition of the library-in-the-hood newsletter! you may remember that at our last newsletter meeting i had the kids actually read the newsletter and discuss its strengths and weaknesses. now, although i had to pull some teeth to get the kids to write actual articles, i think that this new and improved newsletter is pretty damned awesome.

but with everything here at library in the hood, we must take the good with the bad. which do you want first? let's go with the good ... kid who hates hoboes has been doing much better lately. i got him inspired to write poetry, and you'll notice he is our most prolific poet. he even helped my fabulous assistant write a poem about the importance of african americans voting. (page 2) and it turns out that he is responsible for my favorite line in said poem: we are kings and queens / of any scene. very harlem renaissance. so we've got one kid back on track.

then there is Y. Y is one of our smartest kids. she's a bit precocious at times, but she's a smart cookie. we haven't seen much of her recently, and then she shows up for the newsletter meeting and writes this poem. well ... it is a very good poem (page 4). powerful. raw. emotional. disturbing. i think it's apparent from the poem that she is being abused in some way. my assistant and i discussed it and we decided that the next time Y comes in, we will have a chat with her and see if she will tell us what's wrong. but sadly, Y hasn't come into the library since our last newsletter meeting.

if i worked in a community in which the parents were more active participants in their children's lives, then i have no doubt a parent would read this newsletter and be troubled by this poem. said parent could even go so far as to ask me to remove it from the newsletter. and with good cause. however, no such parent exists. i've debated about whether or not to censor young Y, but i feel like it would be wrong. first off, it would be blaming the victim. it is not her fault she is abused and we should not rob her of an avenue to express her pain. and second, it is a damned good poem and the other kids could learn a lot from it. both about life and about good writing.

so there you have it. just another day in the life of ...

it's 1 pm ... do you know where your abused child is?

yes, it is 1 pm and i am leaving for lunch. where is your special needs child who suffers from hearing loss, has a serious speech impediment and cannot communicate in or comprehend any spoken language, and who mysteriously has a black eye? where is he? he's hanging out at the laundromat waiting for it to be "time" to be allowed into the library. you see, it's actually illegal for us to allow unaccompanied children in here until 2:30. because children are supposed to be at school. so he's hanging around outside of the laudromat with the drug dealers. nice.

an e-mail sent and a call to be made

1. i sent an email to a big wig higher up saying that i need to discuss my current work environment. i made sure to note what fantastic progress i have made with the children. and how ironic it is that what makes the environment "intolerable" is not the children or the neighborhood but one of my co-workers. i wonder which one i'm referring to!
anyway, i haven't heard back yet and i am getting a little nervous. i hope it is ok and that this doesn't "blacklist" me. at hell's library people were blacklisted for speaking up.

2. there is this kid, T, who comes in here. i am not sure what is wrong with him. if i would guess he has at least a few of the following ailments: lead poisoning, autism, a speech impediment, mental retardation, and/or hearing loss. he is about 9 years old and i would say he has the functionality of a 4 or 5 year old. he can barely understand me when i speak to him and he can only communicate in very garbled short words. he does not go to school, he does not know how to read or write, he cannot tell you his last name or his age, and he is left here unsupervised almost every day. oh, and he also hits other children. one time i had to physically get in between him and another child that he had started punching. so he is VERY difficult to deal with and although i want to help him i am often very frustrated by him. i probably kick him out of the library for misbehaving at least once a week. anyway, my point! yesterday he came in with a black eye. a real nasty one too. when asked by a staff member what happened he said his mother hit him. or at least that's what it sounded like. so today, when this staff member comes in i will be explaining the process of calling the child abuse registry.

ah another day in library in the hood. but you know how it is ... i don't do anything and i am incompetant and i let the kids run wild and do whatever they want.

what a difference a call to child protective services can make

while helping my favorite kid with his homework, he mentioned to me that he needed to go home early because his "case worker" was coming over. now, i just want you to know that he gives up this type of information without any prompting from me. i am not asking him any questions. he is all too eager to tell me this stuff. actually, he's kind of a blabbermouth. anyway, so he was telling me that his case worker from child protective services is coming over and he needs to finish his homework so that he can go home.
notice two things:
1. he now has a caseworker. possibly due to my phonecall which some people viewed as me "not minding my business."
2. he has to finish his homework in the library. because the library has turned into a free babysitting/parenting facility in which it is now my responsibility to teach these kids stuff like how to read and how to tell time. these things should be accomplished before i send this kid back to his family. god forbid this kids parents take part in his education. nice.
so anyway, he is telling me about his caseworker and how he is so excited because she will be coming over again next week and next week guess what she will be delivering to him and his little brother? a bump bed.
i think you mean, "a bunk bed," i tell him.
then i tell him of how as a little girl i used to wistfully dream of the day my sister and i would get a bunk bed, but alas, that day never came.
"don't worry," he says, "one day you will get a bump bed."
yes, favorite kid, maybe one day i shall get a bump bed. kind of like tom hanks in the movie Big. and maybe i will get a trampoline as well.

i meet my accuser

here is the scenario:
in a conversation with my aclm (assistant community library manager) i discuss my favorite kid who says he is being abused. we talk about what to do, blah blah blah and somewhere in there he mentions that some libraries have social workers. i say, "wouldn't it be divine if we had a social worker?"
"oh yes," the aclm says, "divine indeed."
then he suggests i email someone from Children's Services about what to do about my favorite kid. so i do that. and she mentions the name of someone i can contact about abuse and also a different person i can contact about social workers in libraries.
i contact both people.
social worker man sends me a rather snippy email telling me nothing. then it comes around that he has informed people that i emailed him. apparently, emailing someone and asking them a question is strictly forbidden. then it comes back to my Manager that i have emailed social worker man. so then yesterday the aclm tells me that i went around the sacred chain of command. then i start crying.
TODAY i go to new librarian training in which we learn nothing useful about how to be librarians. lucky for me i already know how to be a librarian. anyhoo who walks up to give a presentation but social worker man! he talks about all the great stuff he does in libraries and how his department has all these programs at different libraries in need and isn't he a wonderful great man.
i am biting my tongue while he speaks.
finally i raise my hand and ask innocently ... "if someone works at a branch that they feel needs these services what should they do?"
"well," he says, "you could email me about it."
oh really?
i wish i had said something like, "can i email you? because i actually did email you last week and i've been reprimanded for it." but i didn't. i sat silently cursing this ridiculous institution i work for.

my favorite kid tells me a secret

FK: i have a secret to tell you
Me: okay (i say excitedly, because i love gossip)
FK: but you can't tell anyone
Me: who would i tell?
FK: if you tell anyone it will be like a betrayal, you know? you'll betray me.
Me: (realizing something is up) well .... sometimes when kids tell adults secrets the adults have to tell someone because the secret is something bad and the adult has to do something about it. do you understand that?
FK: yes
Me: okay, so what is your secret?
FK: sometimes ... i don't behave so good .... i used to behave bad all the time ... but now i behave pretty good.
Me: yeah, sometimes you misbehave ... but usually you're really good. (then i say in a whisper) you're one of my favorite kids.
FK: but when i misbehave at school i tell my mom and then my mom tells my dad and he gets so angry at me and then he hits me with a belt
Me: that's not right. he shouldn't do that.
FK: yeah it makes me sad
Me: what does your mom do?
FK: well she's the one that tells my dad. sometimes they fight.
Me: yeah, but does she try to stop him ever?
FK: no ... she's with him. like, when he goes to the closet where the belts are she doesn't say anything to him
Me: wow, i am so sorry. i wish i could help you out. that's not right what's going on.
FK: yeah ... i don't usually get black and blues though ... it just gets red
Me: you know, life gets better ... you go to high school and if you do well you go to ...
FK: i know you go to college and you get a job
Me: no, that's not what i was going to say. you go to high school and if you do really well you can go to college and then you get to move out of your house
FK: but i love my family
Me: yeah, but sometimes you need to get away from your family. like i did really well in high school and then i got to go to a college upstate in the mountains and there were trees and we got to go sledding
FK: wow
Me: yeah, so if you do well in school you can go to college and go sledding
FK: didn't you miss your family?
Me: not so much
FK: i'd miss my family
Me: well, you can always call them on the phone ... but sometimes its best not to live with them