i'm leaving on a jet plane

it's been so long since i've complained about my general maladies. hasn't it? i know you all are dying to hear about some maladies. well here goes ...

first off, with the rigorous summer reading schedule i really wore myself out. all those programs, and then us being down a manager ... it was tough. and for the past two months i've been getting sick fortnightly (i love the word "fortnight") ... so at first i tried to rest in my down time and take it easy. this of course was very boring and i missed out on lots of fun summer activities. and wouldn't you know it? it didn't even work anyway. and it was so boring.

so last weekend i decided i would ride in the nyc 20th century bike tour, even though i was recovering from illness. of course, i decided that since i was not in tip top shape the best thing for me to do would be to sleep late. so my friends began the ride at 7 am up in central park at 110th street, while i slept all cozy cuddly with the bolshevik. then at around 9:30 i got a phone call from miss fifi who had made it to prospect park already, and was politely asking me where the hell i was. oh miss fifi! so i finally emerged from bed, bid the bolshevik adieu, and got on my bike. by the time i got to propect park the riders were long gone, but then i booked it to coney island in record time and was able to reunite with miss fifi at marine park! i am SO good. and then we had a lovely time riding off into the sunset together. all in all, i rode 40 miles of the 55 mile ride (fifi rode even longer since she had riden about 10 miles just to get to the start line!)

but then dear blog readers, as i was tasting the sweet taste of success, i began to feel this strange pain in my knee. oh the pain! i've never been injured before due to sporty sporty-ness. ouch. even my free finish-line massage didn't help. so i've kinda been hobbling around ever since, applying the tiger balm and keeping it elevated and all that.

so then this week, my stupid sore throat came back AND i was hobbling around and it was all very sad. but the show must go on!

so yesterday we did something quite fab, despite my maladies ... at boy's club i decided to have a paper plane competition. i printed up a bunch of different paper plane templates from the internets, and set them up at various parts of the room. i gave the boys about 30 minutes to make as many planes as they wanted, telling them they would be judged on flight distance as well as plane style. so they had a fine time making the planes and coloring them with markers yada yada yada. i noticed a lot of them had some trouble following the basic directions, the trouble being that they refused to read them. so i think we will do more things where they have to read and follow directions. then we had the flight competitions where they threw their planes onto the "runway" and i placed little masking tape pieces where each plane landed. it was very exctiting and our top winners all received prizes. afterwards one of the boys came up to me and said he had so much fun and he didn't even mind that he didn't win a prize. ah, super sweet.

oh, and on the subject of planes i will be going on a TWO WEEK vacation very soon to argentina, accompanied by my beloved bolshevik. ay ay ay!

apparently, i am also thankful for pants

you may have noticed that i have not spoken about svelteness lately. that is because svelteness is at an all time low (weight gain being at an all time high). you may be wondering to yourselves how this could possibly be so. "how could this poissibly be so, miss dewey d?" is how your wondering probably sounds in your head. "with all your punking rope and semi-reasonable eating habits? how could this be?" well, i'll tell you ... i blame the hives.

that's right, the hives! you see, i stopped mentioning the hives. not because they have gone away, but because they are so god damned annoying i can't even stand to discuss them. but i am on some super powerful meds to keep the hives at bay, but these super powerful meds also seem to keep the svelteness at bay as well. ... oh, long lost svelteness, how you have foresaken me!

anyway, this lack of svelteness has created a bit of a problem when it comes to the issue of pants. this issue being that i can no longer fit into my tight jeans (which as a resident of billyburg is a serious problem. i am lucky i have not been ejected from The Paradise in some sort of biblical fashion).

i have implemented a new plan which i call "shock and exercise" in which i will shock my body with intense exercise in hopes of tricking it into losing weight. i am proud to say that i have been going to the gym every other day for two weeks now!

now, if you've ever had to cram your non-svelte self into a pair of tight jeans which no longer fit you, you will know that it's not a pretty sight. and it doesn't do much for the self esteem. not at all. so i broke down and bought a pair of my favorite jeans on ebay (citizens for humanity straight leg "avedon" jeans. love them. maybe one day i will tell you the story of how i contacted citizens of humanity regarding my old fave pair, which are actually limited edition and i can only assume are priceless in value).

ANYWAY, the jeans arrived yesterday and it was SO nice to put them on and feel what it feels like to have a pair of jeans not cut off the circulation to your legs. and even though this pair is a whole TWO INCHES bigger in the waist than my beloved limited edition pair, these look so much more flattering as they actually fit the current state of my body. and of course they are still "tight fitting" (but in a comfortable way) so i am not at risk of expulsion from the 'burg. phew. what a relief.

so last night at around midnight was my first opportunity to try on these new jeans, and of course i was so filled with excitement that i felt i had to tell the bolshevik about them asap. can you believe that he is not interested in discussing the crucial topic of jeans at 12:03 on a school night? what gives?! he said something about sleep and tiredness. whatevs.

and that dear blog readers is why i had to bore you with this tale. because i know you guys will be happy for me and my new jeans which make me feel a little less unsvelte (as long as i don't look at the size tag).

a day in the life of a gotham librarian

this morning i woke up confused due to a strange feeling of contentment. what is going on here? what is this feeling? is this genuine happiness? what gives?

job: satisfying. the kids are improving leaps and bounds, and my co-workers and i are just one little happy family.

writing: going well. everyone loves what i'm working on, which leaves me with a feeling of accomplishment.

socialness: i am just a regular social butterfly. you most likely will run into me while i'm out and about in the nabe.

romance: looking up. things are brewing. can i be more vague?

anyway, i woke up this morning feeling good despite the fact that it was SIX AM. you are most likely asking yourself, "why? why, miss dewey decimal? why would you wake up at that ungodly hour?" well, it was so that i could have a starring role (this is a huge exaggeration) in the upcoming punk rope dvd. so i made my way to one of greenpoint's finer drinking establishments where the punk rope dvd was being filmed. there i was, thank god, greeted with coffee and bagels. and i had my fourth cup of coffee EVER. (for those of you not keeping strict count of my lifetime coffee consumption it goes as follows: 1. accidental coffee from bodega, 2. coffee with my friend from england to prove to him that i can drink coffee, 3. coffee out of desperation at a meeting that didn't serve tea, and finally 4. punk rope dvd)

anyhoo, the first "scene" i am in was a warm up song where i show various stretches. i got to be right in front (i do love attention) and i looked pretty fab if i do say so myself. i was wearing my black skort from american apparel (possibly the only item of clothing that they sell that does not make me look like a fat whore) and my black and pink punk rope tank top. this ensemble was accessorized with my black and pink pumas, and my black and fuscia striped skull sock-it-to-me socks (which i blogged about previously here). super cute.

then after the warm-up scene i had a "librarian cameo" in which i had to look like a librarian. big stretch. but it did require a wardrobe change into a black knee length fitted skirt with this super cute gray blouse i bought with my mom on our last shopping trip. anyway, there were two people jumping rope: one jumping properly, and one jumping improperly. if your feet make noise when you jump rope then you are jumping improperly. so i walk behind the man jumping loudly (while holding a goldie hawn biography and a copy of love in the time of cholera) and i look at him with librarian scorn and then .... then dear blog readers i got to shush him! i was told by the crew that i needed to shush louder, which of course defeats the whole point of shushing, but whatevs.

then it was coming up on 9 am and i needed to leave to go to work. that's right, after spending two hours at a dvd shoot i then went to library in the hood. luckily i was already dressed as a librarian so i was good to go.

so now i am here on a saturday. it's so very very quiet here on saturdays. which is usually boring but today it is good as i am oh so tired (why did i stay up til 2:30 last night ... oh yeah, that's why. he he he) must nap before going out to punk rope post production party. sometimes its exhausting being me.

hopping for heart

today is a very special day. today is hopping for heart day! yay! that is right! i lured punk rope creator, tim haft, to library-in-the-hood to do a special jump rope program with the kids. it's going to be so fun. i can't wait. i am so bored and restless with anticipation of this program! when will it be 4 o'clock?! when?!

anyway, the kids are super excited. every day they ask me, "when is hopping for the heart, ms. dewey decimal? is it today?" and i say "quit asking me that! look at the calendar and figure it out!" see? i've taught the kids how to read a calendar. i'm so good.

what is also exciting about this program is that it is a "trial" program. meaning that i found this fantastic program and the head of afterschool activities will be visiting from Central to observe it. AND, if she likes it she will book MORE punk rope programs. and it will all be because of me ME ME! ohmygod, i am such a trendy trendsetter.

free day!

when i worked at hell's library, if you had a day off during the week, as i do today, it was called a "free day." and in the notes section of your time sheet you would write the word "free" so that everyone understood the reason that you did not come into work. library-in-the-hood has very similar time sheet rules to hell's library, so when i started working here i would write "free" on my time sheet, thinking that these two libraries shared the same lingo. and then after a few months (because everyone is so passive aggressive that they don't like to say things to my face) mr. assistant manager man (remember him? he was so nice) told me that people don't like it when i write the word free on my time sheet. sends the wrong message he said.
well $%&@ that.
i'm free! FREE! FREE!and i have woken up ridiculously early to run errands and finish novels. first i am going to the post office to return the ugly laptop bag i ordered during some sort of insomniac hallucination. seriously, i thought i had ordered something completely different. is this some strange sort of sleep walking type thing in which you purchase items online whilst only half conscious? then i am going to the dmv to make my fancy mobile (thank you bitch cakes for this fantastic term for my car) officially my fancy mobile. then i will have coffee with my bff so that we may gossip about glam rockers and the general state of affairs. and then i will have several hours of quality laptop time so that i may work on my first submission for my novel class. due tomorrow. (i have 9 pages!) and then i will go to punk rope, the greatest fitness class ever.
have i mentioned that i have convinced my punk rope instructor to do a class with the kids at library in the hood? they are very excited, as am i. they will be getting free jump ropes and buttons and temporary tattoos! yay!
also, have i mentioned that i have lost FIVE pounds from my decreased alcohol intake? now i am thinking maybe i should make this a permanent thing, as opposed to just a january thing. because really, if i have to choose between being drunk or being extra svelte .... i think i'm going to have to go with extra svelte.

i think wii have a problem

library conference - day 1
went to a cocktail party and schmoozed. met a woman from VOYA (voice of youth advocates) magazine and told her how much i love VOYA and how much i miss my VOYA subscription because it's so expensive and my library doesn't subscribe. she immediately asked me to become a reviewer. sweet.
then i ran into both the past and present directors of youth services for nassau county. schmoozed them up and wound up taking a member of their group to the YALSA Gaming Extravaganza. who doesn't love an extravaganza?! i ask you.
then at the extravaganza i met up with some of my old pals from hell's library. i love them gals. then i played mario cart double dash, guitar hero III, wii bowling, wii tennis, and dance dance revolution. hopefully the gals and i will meet up tomorrow night as well.
so it has been a very productive first day. and i feel so popular running into all these people. yay library conferences! the only problem is that i feel really sore. at first i thought it was from the combination of boxing AND doing boot camp last night (i had to punch some stuff yesterday. you understand). but now i realize the soreness is only in my right shoulder and the right side of my back. i played wii right-handed. i have sustained a wii injury. ouch. i need to go stretch a little. but damned, was that wii fun. tennis is my favorite.