post office blues

i have never been one of those people to hate the post office. on the contrary, the people in the greenpoint post office have been nothing short of lovely. they are SO nice there. but not the williamsburg post office, which is now my official post office. the people in the williamsburg post office are downright mean. mean isn't even strong enough of a word. they are cruel and heartless there. not to mention highly incompetent. i could stand the meanness if they were at least efficient.

so there is this super expensive daily face peel that i LOVE. it's SO good. the bolshevik has been stealing it for me from his roommate on the sly. but his roommate will soon be moving out (this is a very good thing), so i will no longer have access to the face peel. anyway, i found it on ebay and was able to get a good deal on a 60-day supply. so i order it. and i have it sent to my house. sounds simple, no?

i had the package sent to my house, big mistake. i notice after about a week and a half that i haven't received the face peel. so i contact the seller on ebay and she tells me that she had sent it out immediately and that she got a confirmation that the post office had attempted to deliver it to me weeks ago, but i wasn't home. so i check the usps website and see that in fact they had tried to deliver my package on 11/3 and that they were now keeping it at the post office. but they didn't leave any sort of notification slip AND they never tried to redeliver it in the weeks since then.

so i go to the post office on saturday 11/15 and i wait in line. i notice that the woman behind the counter is rather rude. she keeps rolling her eyes every time someone asks her to look for something. mind you, she is working the pick-up window so looking for packages is her sole job. when i get there i hand her my tracking number and tell her that i am looking for my package and that i never got a notification and this is my tracking number. she picks up the piece of paper, rolls her eyes and says "what is this?" i repeat to her that it is my tracking number. she tells me i need to stand aside and write down my name and address for her.

a minute later i return to the line with paper in hand showing my name and address. i give it to her and she disappears for 15 minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES! trust me, i timed it. at one point i saw her talking on the phone standing conspicuously close to a container of chinese take-out. i then rapped on the glass and said, "could you please stop talking on your cell phone and please start looking for my package?" it's polite to say "please."

when she returns she tells me that she heard me tapping on the window and that she wasn't talking on a cell phone. it was a regular phone. then she tells me that she cannot find my package and that the manager is working with the money and cannot look it up on the computer. i don't know what that means. but she says she will take my number and call me when she finds my package. i ask her if she could look for it again and she refuses.

at this point i am so pissed off i decide to call the customer service number which they have conveniently posted on the wall. the people at the customer service number tell me that my package is in fact there and that there is no reason that anyone needs to look up anything on a computer, and that they just need to look for my package.

i return to the window and tell her to please look for my package again, and try to plea with her a little telling her i came all the way here and i don't want to have to come back. she looks at me and says, with heavy attitude, "i've already explained this to you and i'm not going to say it again." then she looks at the person behind me and screams, "next!"

i leave. furious. and without my magic facial peel.

monday i receive a call from costumer service telling me that they still can't find my package, but they are on it! and they will call me when they locate it. they are unimpressed with the detailed account of the postal worker's meanness.

then i get a call wednesday saying that my package was re-delivered and i wasn't home! how dare i not be home! i then explain that i work during the week, hence why i went to the post office on saturday.

she says i can come pick up the package at the post office. i tell her i already tried to pick up the package at the post office and the woman refused to look for it. i beg her to have the package re-routed to the library, but she says they cannot do that. i concede and tell her i will pick up the package thursday on my way to work.

so this morning i wake up bright and bushy-tailed and get to the post office at 9 am. turns out the post office doesn't open until 9:30 even though the customer service woman told me 9:00. so i wait, knowing i will most likely be late to work because of this. a charming crazy woman keeps me company, spewing psycho about how her mailman doesn't give her her mail. he only delivers junkmail. "he must be chinese," she says. "or spanish." i take out my phone and pretend to call someone.

then it is finally my turn at the window and my rude friend is there. i say to her, "i am here to pick up a package. i never got the notification slip."

"i remember you," she says. "i already explained this to you. i'll call you when i find your package."

"i got a call yesterday saying my package would be here. and they said i could pick it up today."

she looks for the package again, and comes back empty-handed. we fight back and forth and she tells me she has no idea what i'm talking about and that no one has called me. and then, dear blog readers, i start to get pissed. and i start to yell. and i say things like "just give me my god damned package. it's here and i want it NOW."

then she tells me not to get rude. so i guess instead of finding people's packages she has taken up giving lessons in manners as a new career path.

then i ask her what to do since my package is obviously lost. she says it is not lost and she will call me when she finds it. then she mutters that i am "wasting her time." she screams "next!" and i storm off into the sunset.

after several more phone calls to customer service, i am told that of course my package is at the post office. then they give me a name of a manager and tell me that the manager is expecting me tomorrow morning and this manager will give me my package.

tomorrow happens to be my day off, so after going to the gym and before meeting my mom for a shopping trip, i will go to the post office for the third time this week. i am bracing myself for the upcoming fight with rude postal working. bring it on!

to be continued ...