Wednesday, November 21, 2007

numbers, numbers, numbers

yesterday i went to a children's librarian training ... quick summary: many dim-witted middle-aged women who have never been librarians before ask inane questions and then nod enthusiastically at the answers. every so often when i get truly bored i interject with a question that is really a thinly disguised complaint of how the "system" is run. fun!

at this meeting i was told how important "your numbers" are. your numbers are how many kids show up to any given program at your library. it doesn't matter if the program is good or bad ... it doesn't matter if your program is truly original and thought-provoking. all that matters are your numbers. because Big Brother will be looking at your numbers and he will be judging your librarian-ness (as well as your library) solely on Your Numbers.

yay quantity not quality! maybe i should have a "program" and in the "program" i will just give away candy. i bet my numbers would go way up! stupid programs about learning to tell time or solving riddles or exercising your brain are SO out. candy giveaways are in in IN!

in conclusion, yet another downfall of the branch system ... when in a large bureaucracy-brary you are not judged by your actual performance but rather you are judged on meaningless statistics.


did you know that 82% of statistics are made up?



i just made that up ... get it? i'm so clever.



my new slogan ... "no library left behind"




2 comments:

fifi said...

I'll show up to your candy program if you have really good candy.

By the way, I thought about you last night when I was watching Michael Moore's delightful flick, "Sicko." When he was in Paris, interviewing American expats, they told him that sick time was unlimited, "How can you put a time limit on sickness? If you're sick, you're sick!" It's French law! On top of the required 5 weeks vacation from your 35-hour-a-week job. Anyone wanna join us on the Left Bank for Thanksgiving next year? 'Cause I think we might hafta move there.

The Dewey Decimal Mistress said...

sacre bleu! i must move to france! i like wine and cheese and using sick time when i am sick. i will fit right in!