Wednesday, August 15, 2007

braless and swinging a sack full of cats

my roommate and i have this strange private joke that most likely will not translate well. she is kind of a tough chick, in a cool way, and sometimes when people piss her off she will just sort of erupt and go off on them. for instance, one time some guy cat-called her and she got all up in his face and started screaming at him. so we joke that one day she will turn into a mean old lady with hundreds of cats. this will be bad for many reasons, one of them being that she is allergic to cats. but then we decided she would be more than just your typical cat lady ... she would be armed with a sackfull of cats which she could wield as a weapon on those who cross her.
so around 1 am last night when i was just about to fall asleep after watching several downloaded episodes of dexter (have you seen this yet? its really good), i hear this very loud distruptive noise from outside my window. kind of like large pieces of the street are being torn from the ground. i look outside my window and i see flashing lights and yellow cones and caution tape strewn about. i lie back down but this very loud annoying noise will not go away. i don't know, maybe it was my entire body being ridiculously sore from boot camp class combined with the sadness of certain boy geniuses absconding to cleveland, but i just could not take this for one more second.

wearing only a tanktop, boxer shorts and flip flops, i burst out (quite literally since i forgot to put on a bra) onto the street only to find a keyspan crew with lots of large equipment jackhammering the asphalt. so i cross under the caution tape, and stand safely behind some big yellow machine for digging stuff and begin yelling at these men. it went something like this:

me: hey

asshole with jackhammer:

me: HEY!

asshole with jackhammer:

me: HEY YOU!

asshole with jackhammer: (finally turns to see me and stops jackhammering) yeah?


asshole with jackhammer: (he thinks about it for a second, then shrugs) no

me: (screaming like a madwoman) are you kidding me?! 1 am?! 1 am is when you have to do this?!

then he mutters something about gasleaks and getting a call and i turn on my heels and storm back into my apartment, slamming my front door behind me.

when i get back into my apartment, my roommate emerges in her pjs asking what the hell is going on. i tell her of my encounter with the keyspan guy and his "gasleak excuse." she goes back into her bedroom muttering about how there are no gasleaks and she will be calling The City. i don't ask her how one calls The City.

when i get back into bed the jackhammering continues for a minute and then suddenly it stops. i hear the keyspan men talking outside for a while but soon there is silence again. i like to think that i intimidated them into leaving.

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