Friday, May 2, 2008

everyone's favorite republican

today when i went into the staff room for my break i did something which i have never done before. i turned on the very small black and white tv sitting in the corner ... and i watched it. you are probably asking yourself, "why miss dewey decimal?! why would you watch mind-numbing television?" well, it was because i had left my reading material in the car. you might be thinking to yourself that as a librarian i would have a wealth of reading material surrounding me. well, you'd be right. but i had already made it into the staff room and i didn't feel like going back into the trenches where someone might ask me a question, thus cutting into my precious lunch time. so i sat and watched me some family feud.

it turns out that watching family feud was a very very scary experience. the category was "facts about al gore." first there was the head-to-head face off. the woman who buzzed in first won with "ran for president." ahh, well spotted madam. al gore did run for president.

play was then turned over to her family, and the first player proudly proclaimed "is a republican!" as her answer. can you believe it? that wasn't on the board as a fact about AL GORE!? wtf?!

okay, now i am not always up on the latest politics. but i think that a grown person in america today should know that al gore is a democrat. i mean, c'mon! 2000 election? ran against g. w. bush? florida recount? any of these things ring a bell? it's not like we're asking for facts about aaron burr or something.

okay. fine. moving on. so then the next member of the family cleverly says "is a democrat" as her fact about al gore. phew! good save! then the family gets another strike against them when a player proclaims that al gore "is from arkansas." no, i'm sorry. that is bill clinton. yes, i know you thought they were the same person. but they are in fact two seperate men. crazy talk, i know.

the game continued with little fanfare until there was one answer left. but sadly neither team could guess the answer. i was sitting with baited breath thinking the answer would be something like "is an environmentalist." but that wasn't the right answer either. do you know what the answer was? do you? take a guess. fill in your guess here _______________________.

nope! you're wrong! the correct last fact about al gore is that he "has gained weight."
yup. america has spoken.

3 comments:

fifi said...

That's the last clue they could say about Al Gore? That he's gained weight?! Is The Feud running on FAUX News now? Did J. Peterman Red State it all up? Are the writers all on meth?

You might have to be our regular eye in the sky, watching for Republican hijinks on the ol' daytime boob-tube.

(P.S. Missed me?)

Miss Dewey Decimal said...

fifi, i have missed you so much. i was worried you had abandoned me. and i love your onslaught of comments!

fifi said...

I no abandon! I write for money, not for love...but I struck balance & be back with vengeance!