a list of behaviors which will make me loathe a patron immediately ... part 1

1. shouting at me from across the room
this is a library (although you might mistake it for a mental institution) can we try to maintain the semblance of quiet studiousness?

2. not being able to identify what your library card number is
you have a library card. there is ONE number on it. it's the ONLY number there. just to be clear, your library card number is not your phone number; it is not your SSN#; it is not the number on your reciept next to the title of the book you have checked out. it is simply the number which is physically located on your library card.

3. inability to understand our reserve system
a patron is looking for their reserved items. i tell them they are organized by the last four digits of their library card number. "what number is that?" they ask (see above). then they look at the shelves in complete confusion. "where is my book?" they shout.
"ok," i tell them. "you're standing in front of the reserves. look at the number printed in large print on the outside of each book. now, do you have to count up or down from that number to find your number? they're in order. number order. by the last four digits of your library card."

4. refusal to click the clock
a patron approaches the computer to make an internet appointment. pre-emptively i shout, "you have to click on the clock icon where is says 'reserve a pc' to reserve a computer."
the patron does not even reach for the mouse. they want to use the shiny glowing scanner.
"no, don't scan your card," i say. "you have to click on the clock first."
the card goes closer and closer to the shiny red laser beam.
"no!" i shout. "don't scan your card! click the clock! click the clock!"
the patron scans their card, "why didn't it work?! this thing doesn't work!"
sigh. "you need to click the clock first."