craftin' in the ghetto

as you know, i love crafts. love them! but typically i do not show you guys the long drawn out process i go through trying to figure out crafts to do with the children. i just let you all assume that i am some magical crafting faerie, creating masterpieces among a swirl of glitter and googley eyes. but that is not so! sometimes it is painstaking finding new craft ideas.

for instance, i was looking for crafts to do on wednesday and i specifically wanted to do a fall craft. you know, it being fall and all. so the first website i go to all the crafts are too babyish. then i go to this website saying they have "easy fun craft ideas." first idea was an "easy wreath!" all you need is a wreath base, some hay, and some indian corn! yay! so easy! i have all those things at my fingertips, being in the hood and all. hay? where the hell would i get hay?

the next five or so i looked at all involved having children pick a bunch of leaves. easy, no? where would children pick leaves around here? there are no leaves. and i'll tell you right now once those leaves hit the ground here i am NOT touching them. god knows what disgusting stuff might get on them.

other crafts involved multicolored stamp pads, corn kernels, melted crayons, etc. melted crayons?! are you insane?! do you think i am going to allow the children to be anywhere near a device which could melt crayons?! that is anarchy and first degree burns waiting to happen.

one day i was complaining to my roommate about how ridiculous some of these craft ideas are. as i went through my various woes she became kind of impressed that i am able to do any crafts at all with the kids. and then we decided that i should make a series of youtube videos called "craftin' in the ghetto" in which i would explain how to make simple crafts using only the most inexpensive and common materials. sadly, this project never got off the ground as i am still waiting for the roomie to compose the craftin' in the ghetto theme song.