Thursday, September 4, 2008

we just call him god

why have my posts become so religious? or are they anti-religious?

the other day i was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for the lovely man at the autoshop to patch my flat tire ... a young man walked by and said good morning to me. i hate greeting strangers in public. i am a friendly person. i love meeting new people. but i do not want to talk to unknown people when i'm out and about trying to run errands. much like my strong feelings against getting to know one's neighbors. it's not that i'm rude, i just enjoy minding my own business. anyway, i was feeling generous so i smiled and said good morning.

a few minutes later he returned, smiling at me and saying that he hoped that everything was okay with my car. at this point i assumed he was trying to hit on me, so i went into defense mode.

me: it'll be fine thanks (please read: leave me the hell alone)
guy: is there anything i can do to help?
me: i think these autoshop guys have it covered
guy: i think i have some reading material that may interest you
me: i'm sure it won't
guy: well why don't you check it out
then he rummages through his bag and gives me a leaflet entitled "Being Saved by Jesus" or something like that. as soon as i see the word "jesus" i put my hands up and back away like he's trying to hand me molten lava.
me: no! sorry! i don't believe in jesus! (then i shield my eyes from said pamphlet)
guy: jesus is the only one who can save you. god wants you to accept his son as the one true savior.
me: god likes me just fine thanks.
guy: god loves everyone, but in order to be saved by god you must be baptised.
me: no, my god doesn't care if you're baptised. my god only wants you to be a good person.
guy: who is your god?
me: huh?
guy: what is your god's name?
me: we just call him god.

i can understand how back in the good old days of preachin' and convertin', missionaries could use all sorts of magic tricks and brainwashing to get innocent tribal people to fall for this stuff. but really, an on-the-street conversion? in brooklyn? does that ever work? what is the success rate of this practice? does your average jew-on-the-street ever denounce their faith after reading a short pamphlet? do heathens ever see the error of their ways because some complete stranger told them that if they didn't, they weren't going to get to bounce around on clouds in the afterlife? please. behaviors like this just reinforce my strong feelings against interacting with others.





3 comments:

Her Mother said...

I'm glad you are still Jewish, despite the earnest attempts by the young missionary. Perhaps we should have him over for Rosh Hashonah and some of my matzoh ball soup-- he might decide to play on OUR team!

*Bitch Cakes* said...

I will never understand these people! THEY are the rude ones! How dare anyone push anything on you like that- EVER. It's human spam! Good for you, Ms Dewey Decimal!

ryan manning said...
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