Wednesday, September 10, 2008

i do it for the books: a rant about librarians and sexuality

i met this dude at a party a couple years ago, and unfortunately i had several drinks. let's just say that my antics at said party made me quite memorable for years to come. what can i say? sometimes my id takes over. so i was at another party recently and i ran into this dude again. and he was all caught up in the idea that i am some wild and untamed chick, which i am not. i just like to have fun. sometimes. and on my own terms.

so we were chatting and i could just see all over this guy's face that he had the absolute wrong idea about me. (i am sure this will inspire a well-deserved lecture from my mother) whatevs. moving on. as he is leaving he asks for my number and i give it to him, even though i now i have no interest in him.

he writes me a text message the other night. i politely respond. at this time there has been no innapropriate or suggestive communications. then he writes to me, out of nowhere ... "you are a naughty librarian."

and thus ends all communications i will ever have with this man. what kind of thing is that to say to someone? did he think i was going to enter into some hot and heavy text sex session with him? give me a break.

yes, i am a naughty librarian. we all know that. duh. so obvious. i'm also a very committed and hard-working librarian who busts her ass trying to save children from their own bleak futures. trust me if you saw me at work, you'd see there's nothing hot and bothered about what i actually do. and contrary to popular belief, i did not enter this field because i wanted to fulfill the sexual fantasies of men. shocking, i know. i do not merely exist for men to enjoy me, whodda thunk it? i mean, if that's all i wanted i could have become a french maid. or a dominatrix. neither of those careers requires me dishing out $38,000 in student loans for a masters degree, and as a dominatrix i could've made a nice bit of change. i could've made my own hours, got to wear cool clothes, et cetera et cetera.

but i did not go into these fields. why not? because i have a genuine interest in books and the pursuit of knowledge and helping people. crazy, isn't it?

if you are friends with me, by all means, keep those sexy librarian comments coming. you know i love it (coming from people who appreciate the many aspects of me). but if you don't know me, please keep your creepy comments to yourself.

and here, for your edification, is a list of things you shouldn't say to librarians you just met, assuming you want them to respect you (mind you, i have heard all of these)
1. you need a masters degree to do that?
2. i thought all librarians were old and ugly ... but you're not!
3. you're a naughty/hot/sexy librarian
4. do i need a library card to check you out?
5. what do i need to take out a librarian?

and so on and so on and so on and so on ...


ryan manning said...

i like your blog

Miss Dewey Decimal said...

thank you ryan manning. there is hope for you yet.

Her Mother said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
*Bitch Cakes* said...

Not for nothing- but #4 is pretty hilarious. At least for me, but it's only the first time I ever heard it.

BTW, since I know you and don't view you as an object, it's nice that I have permission to use the naughty/sexy librarian references. Me-ow!

Miss Dewey Decimal said...

ms. bitchcakes, you know how i love to be objectified by you.

#4 is a classic ... my mom told me once that when she was a young librarian she got similar comments.

Peonys said...

I wonder what comments would be if there were a similar myth about social workers?