the forest for the trees

sometimes you get so used to something, that you can hardly tell how messed up it is anymore. and then one day, it just dawns on you all over again.

when i got to the hood this morning i passed by this little church near the library. it's not what i would call a "real church" it's one of those storefront type churches, housed in a regular building. you city folk know what i'm talking about. anyway, this church has a summer camp and the kids from the summer camp have been coming to the library for our programs. i always assumed that coming to the library each afternoon was probably the most fun they had each day. i mean, how boring must church camp be? especially if you're just hanging out in a building in the hood. it's not like they get to frolic in the woods or anything.

anyway, today i passed their building and i noticed that there were no windows on the first floor. both sides of the building are completely made of cement and then the front of the building just has a door. on the second floor there are a few windows in front, but nothing much. suddenly, i realized just how dark and sad it must be in there. what could they possibly be doing in there all day?

then, as i was leaving for lunch, i passed by this barber shop i had never seen before. i realize now that i typically look forward whenever i am here, never really looking around too closely. the facade of this barbershop was all wood, painted white and fading badly, the wood splintering and breaking off at random. it completely stuck out from the other businesses, with their plastic signs and neon lights. i wanted to take a picture of it because there was something about it that was very moving, but then i realized that i absolutely could not get my camera out and take a picture of anything. there is absolutely no way that i could ever photograph anything i see here. that type of behavior would be completely unacceptable.

all of a sudden, i saw all the broken down store fronts and boarded up buildings that i've been passing every day for the past 14 months. i had somehow forgotten exactly what i'd been looking at day after day. suddenly, it occured to me that this is the most depressing place i've ever been in my entire life (and i've been many places, dear blog readers). then i remembered my trip to the 9th ward, post-katrina, and i decided that this is the second most depressing place i've ever been in my entire life.