attention all bachelors: if you marry me i can make you a millionaire

mr. bank robbing priest casanova man says that if he had a wife like me he would already be a millionaire. i must look terribly confused because then he elaborates, "you'd keep me on track and make sure i'm always achieving stuff." well, even though he is insane that is kind of sweet. then he tells me that if i have a dog he would be happy to paint my dog's portrait for a very reasonable price. just the price of the canvas! he loves painting doggy portraits that much! sadly, i do not have a dog but if anybody out there is looking for someone to paint a portrait of their pooch i've got your man.