return of the prodigal librarian

so today i came back to hell's library for the first time in three weeks. we're not actually open yet, but we have no less than 500 bins of books to check in and put away before we officially re-open on monday. and who, dear blog readers, was waiting for me at the door at 9 am all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? shelf-ass. yes, shelf-ass was sitting outside the door of the library, her gigantic ass overflowing atop the milk crate she was perched on, her homeless cart by side. luckily i spotted her from a good distance away so i was able to take in a huge breath and then run past her into the library. i'm telling you: eau de rotted government cheese factory.