hell's liberry - now in 5 new fruit flavors

there is a woman who works here who says li-berry. have i mentioned this before. stop me if you think that you've heard this one before. she is a li-berry-an here. you would think that working here and seeing things which say libRary on them, you might be able to pronounce it properly. where has that R gone to? well, i'll tell you. this woman is often heard telling patrons about our friction and non-friction sections. please, do not confuse these sections with the fiction (made-up stories) and non-fiction (factual information) books. the friction section could only describe a grouping of books which have some sort of tread on them, while the non-friction books remain quite slippery. look out for those, they are most likely easy to drop. hopefully they don't include large reference tomes.
sometimes i like to image the li-berry as a magical place housed in a strawberry top where librarians frolic freely, each one having their own signature fruit scent. i plan on being peachy. or maybe i could be some kind of peach raspberry swirl, that way i can match my hair color.