passover weekend day 4: the cleansing of the hands and the cleaning of the car

there are certain parts of the seder we skip every year. we like to have a thorough, but compact seder. no need to waste time with an inefficient seder. so one thing we never do is the cleansing of the hands. and since we've never done it i can't even tell you what it's all about. but you're supposed to wash your hands.
the night of my mom's seder i stayed over my brother and sister-in-law's house and my brother informed me that in the morning he would be washing his car. this sounded awesome and i asked if i could wash the fancy mobile. so in the morning i went out to the driveway and i was just blown away by all the fabulous gadgets and accessories that my brother owns for the purposes of washing cars. first he has this high-pressure hose that runs on what appears to be a lawnmower engine. you get to hold this gun type thing, it's almost like an uzi of cleanliness. so i take it, very excited to be using such high tech tools, and he warns me to be careful. man, that thing has some kickback. you really have to hold onto it. so i am power blasting the fancy mobile and i am suddenly realizing that my car is filthy, you have no idea, she's hardly fancy at all. even with the uzi of cleanliness there are still several layers of dirt on that thing. then i vacuumed it using a shop vac (who owns a shop vac? crazy!) and now the fancy mobile is all shiny and sparkly and looks like a new car. it looks nothing like my car at all.
oh yeah and then later i went to another seder, with REAL haggadahs.