Tuesday, February 5, 2008

don't piss on my head and call it "east williamsburg"

there is a little real estate phenomenon in my area called "east williamsburg." what could be confusing about this? there is williamsburg and then there is the eastern portion of williamsburg known as east williamsburg. oh, not so! you see, everyone wants to live in williamsburg, so now what happens is that people try to convince newcomers who don't know the area that bushwick (williamsburg's slummy neighbor) is actually "east williamsburg." east williamsburg could go on until queens as far as realtors are concerned. one day soon you'll be at the beach in montauk and overhear someone saying, "i had no idea they had a lighthouse here in east williamsburg." (get it? because montauk is far out east)
anyway, last night we were meeting with a realtor and he said the dreaded words, "east williamsburg." so i asked, "you mean bushwick?" and he was all no no no, its east williamsburg! i swear! its at the montrose stop!"
"dude!" i exclaimed with a bit too much attitude, possibly frightening my roommate, "that is totally bushwick! i'm not paying $2500 to live in @%#&ing bushwick!" (i'm not paying $2500 to live anywhere)
"oh no," he said, "bushwick doesn't start until at least the jefferson stop."
"jefferson?!," i said cleverly, "ha!"
anyway, then he showed us an apartment that is actually in williamsburg proper (possibly the western most part of "east williamsburg," but i'm not quite sure. but it's a few short blocks away from the graham stop, so i am satisfied geographically). this place is AWESOME! its huge! HUGE! expensive, but HUGE! (not as expensive as that bullshit place in bushwick). so we are on our way, getting our papers together, busting open our piggy banks. miss roommate and i are already planning our first party. i think it will be black tie. and we'll serve metropolitans.


*Bitch Cakes* said...

dude, I know. That whole "East Williamsburg" thing is the best freaking scam for real estate shmucks.

OMG how exciting! That's so freaking awesome. I wish I lived off the L line. The Graham stop is a very nice area. And huge, you say?! I can't wait to see it! I need to find something black tie-ish in my new size. Yay to you!!!

Miss Dewey Decimal said...

i've been looking at maps and this area is probably the true "east williamsburg" because it's a couple blocks east of graham ave yet south of greenpoint. yay!

i'm thinking that if you just wear your normal clothes you will be black tie appropriate. but if you want to go out and get some formal eveningwear and blame it on me, go for it! i am going to wear my super hot maid o' honor dress from my brother's wedding. i have been itching to wear it again, and it seems creating an occasion is the only way.