Friday, February 1, 2008

dirtiness! beware!

it turns out ... i do not accept pleasure from strangers.

previous to my short-lived adventure with the glam rocker, i had gone out on two dates with an african american jew. at first i thought he was from a tribe of jews in africa, but then i found out that he is just from manhattan and he converted.
so he and i were supposed to have a third date the night after i met the glam rocker. but i was so taken with the glam rocker, and really not taken so much with this guy. we hadn't really connected on a deep level, we had barely kissed, i just wasn't feeling it. and to be perfectly honest, i felt a little uneasy around him. like he was always trying to push me out of my comfort zone or something.
so anyway, the other day he IMed me and asked me why i canceled our date and where have i been blah blah blah. so i say to him, "i will be honest with you. i have met someone else." and i figure even though it didn't work out with the glam rocker, i at least know that if i like the GR so much more than the AAJ, than really i shouldn't be with the AAJ. right?
so we got into a little tiff about whether or not i owed him an explanation. i maintain that under the law of social niceties, i do NOT owe him anything since we only had two dates and there was very little physical contact. also there were no long phone calls or great communications in between dates. he said that this would come back to me in karma. is what happened with the GR karma? i don't think so. because, as i said, i owed the african american jew nothing.
so tonight i came home from my writing class, punched some stuff at the gym, took a bath and read the new yorker, and am now relaxing with my laptop and this weird mushroom flavored polish cheese that i got at my favorite bodega.
anyway (where is the dirtiness you ask? ) so he IMs me tonight and says that he is sorry it didn't work out. and that he thinks i am hot. so i said "i know." and i meant this in two ways.
1. i know i am hot, i do not need you to tell me this
2. i know you are very taken by my hotness and it is a little creepy
then he tells me that i am missing out on something spectacular.
suddenly, i am kind of feeling sorry for this poor guy, grasping at straws, IMing a girl who is obviously not interested in him. so i tell him that i am sure he is a great person, but i don't think we make sense as a couple, having nothing to do with the quality of human being he is.
african american jew: yeah, you're right
african american jew: but i just wanted you
me: i know
me: sorry
african american jew: i know it won't work out
african american jew: i can't be your boyfriend
african american jew: but i still want to experience you
african american jew: please let me please you
me: dude! are you asking what i think you're asking?
african american jew: i could really pleasure you
me: you are sick
african american jew: i want to fill your empty spaces
me: i am blocking you!
and then while he was trying to type me another message i frantically blocked him from IMing me ever again.
but the story continues! so while i am writing this post, he sends me an e-mail
"i am not asking for sex just friendship on a high level!"
to which i respond "go %@$& yourself."
and then he writes back: "why would you write something like that ... i don't want to have sex with you, leave me alone!"
oh ... my .... god. what a sick bastard. now i must go to facebook and block him from my facebook. i would also like to add that this is the second person from jdate that i have had to block from contacting me in the past two weeks. seriously, a message to the single jews of the metropolitan area: get your shit together.

1 comment:

*Bitch Cakes* said...

Wow- what CREEPY things to say!!! Good thing you cut that off when you did (and I agree you did NOT owe him an explanation).