losing my cool

i know i complain a lot about various things. but that is part of my charm, no? anyway, i think you would agree that i hardly ever complain about the children. and even though sometimes i might get frustrated with them (usually because of the pathetic education they are receiving), it is obvious that i love them. right? so i think i can say, without feeling too guilty, that the children drove me absolutely nuts today. seriously, i never say that, but today i really wanted to strangle many of the children.
they all had a half day today because of parent teacher conferences, so they came in at 12 instead of at 3. that is 3 whole extra hours of children. i was not prepared in my weakened ill state for this type of juvenile onslaught. and there is one kid whom i will refer to here on in as annoying child. man does he annoy me.
first, i was adding books to my women's history display and he comes up to me and asks me what it is. i say, "it's women's history month so i have all these different books about women."
"where are the men books?" he asks.
so i repeat. verbatim. "it's women's history month so i have all these different books about women."
"you need more books on men," he says.
so i ask, "were you listening to what i said?"
he says yes and then repeats back what i said, but still asks why i don't have more books on men on display.
my favorite kid happened to be within earshot and he tried to explain the idea of women's history month, but it didn't seem to sink in.
and he pretty much just annoyed me non-stop all day. first he kept asking when the program started (3:30, every day. EVERY DAY THE SAME TIME) and i kept telling him and he kept saying how bored he was and how he wished there was something to do. and then i said, "get away from my desk! you MUST learn to entertain yourself. starting now!"
then finally we had our program at 3:30 (it was actually a great program i made up about nutrition. and then we got to play "snack" bingo. i love bingo!) so as he is leaving he says loudly that women's history month is stupid and that women have never done anything.
so i pull him aside and say that what he said was very offensive to me. and i told him that i would never say something like that about him (at least not to his face) and then i said, "you come in here every day and me and ms. assistant have activities for you, and we help you with your homework. don't you dare insult us. we don't have to do any of this for you." and then ms. assistant chimed in and asked him about his mother and didn't he love his mother, who is also a woman. oh yeah, we totally double teamed him.
then after about an hour or so of fooling around and me telling him that he is "annoying me" and "getting on my last nerve," at 5:45 he asks me to find him a "baby book." i ask him what grade he is in and he tells me he is in third, but that he needs to do a book report and the library is closing in 15 minutes, so he needs a baby book. so i pretty much lose it and tell him that i absolutely will not find him a baby book. instead i give him a grade appropriate book and a lecture about time management.
and then i decided that instead of going to my novel writing class tonight, i would go home and eat lots of takeout and watch tv. because i am still sick and these kids irritated me to no end today. and so, dear blog readers, with that i am off to peruse my takeout menus and find a place for myself on the couch.