Saturday, March 29, 2008

not rollerskating ... almost as fun as actually rollerskating

so last night after trying out greenpoint's new korean restaurant (little korea, very yummy), miss fifi and i went to down and derby at studio b. here's the idea: take a bar, put down a roller rink type floor for an evening, then invite hipsters in short shorts and afro wigs to go skating whilst consuming alcoholic beverages. it's a great idea, hence why miss fifi and i were there. but it totally sucked. here's why: first, we got there 15 minutes after the doors opened. it is unheard of to arrive anywhere so early. and yet we had to wait 45 minutes in the cold. let me start off by saying that i heart gay men. i really do. i have never met a gay man i didn't love. until last night.
we were standing in front of the most obnoxious group of whiny queens ever. these boys did not shut up. also, these boys had no idea of personal space and almost steamrollered poor miss fifi who is not as vertically endowed as some of the rest of us. anyway these queens went on and on about how they just couldn't believe they were in brooklyn waiting on a line for a party. in brooklyn. oh my god. get over yourself. if this were 7 years ago i could understand where you are coming from. but alas we are in the now, so get with the times sister.
then once inside we had to wait on yet another line to get skates. of couse miss fifi had brought her own skates (being a roller derby goddess) but she was a good enough pal to wait in line with me. so after about 30 minutes on the skate line we eventually get into the skate rental room, where we are immediately told that only women's size 4 skates are left. that would have been very helpful if i was an 8 year old girl. sadly, my 9 1/2 feet are not squeezing into a pair of 4s.
so miss fifi and i were left to wander around and stare at hipsters, which is of course fun in its own right. but not as fun as roller skating.
at around 12:30 we went back to the skate rental room to find complete and utter chaos. it was kind of like the floor of the stock exchange. the masses were shouting out the sizes they needed and then every so often the girls behind the counter shouted the sizes they actually had. and that is when i noticed that the girls behind the counter had a lot of skates that they weren't distributing. and that they were kind of messing with the crowd and joking around in a oh do you really want skates? kind of way. how bad do you want your skates? it was pretty ridiculous. and that is when i turned to miss fifi and said, let's get the hell out of here.
and then we left and got some hot chocolate. sassy pictures of me and miss fifi in our skating outfits (sans skates or any actual skating) will be posted later on flickr.

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